Working Through the Hard Parts of Life & Business
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There are big and little moments in life that challenge us. One day it might be that you're simply frustrated that your video didn't get many views or you left your coffee at home on the counter. Other times, the moments are much bigger, and they leave you feeling down. It's discouraging to not get the listing or to watch a sweet family struggle to win out in multiple bidding wars.
It's important to take time and recognize that we all have ups and downs throughout our days and even lives. And I'm talking from experience here as the last two years have been a rollercoaster for me. It's been a high to start my own business, but it's also been full of lows with my health.
So, let's have a candid conversation about working through the challenging, frustrating, and overwhelming parts to get to all the good stuff that lies ahead.
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It's odd to think about, but right around the time this episode is published, I won't be busy working at my desk with my Shih Tzu/Maltese, Mabel on my lap listening to my favorite 1970's Spotify list. Instead, I'll be at a hospital in West Palm, surrounded by world-class surgeons for my 4th hip surgery in the last 18 months.
If you've been following along for a while, you know that it's been quite the journey to get here. I even shared my story recently in Episode 85, but just to quickly recap, I like to say that I have screwed hips. Literally, I have 16 screws in both of my hips.
At the beginning of 2020, I started to have intense pain in my right hip, and when I eventually went to the doctor, I found out that I had severe acetabular dysplasia in both of my hips. Unfortunately, this diagnosis as an adult is incredibly rare, and there are only a handful of surgeons in the entire country who perform the operation to fix it.
I didn't know it at the time, but this was a life-changing diagnosis for me. I went from being happily active to barely being able to walk and in incredible chronic pain in the span of a couple of months.
I had my first PAO (periacetabular osteotomy) surgery in November of 2020 on my right hip. This is an extreme procedure where they break your hip, twist it around, and screw it back together. I was in the hospital for a week, on bed rest for two months, and am still recovering to this day. Then, about six months later, I had a PAO on my left hip a couple of weeks after I had labrum repair. Now, I'm having my 4th surgery to remove as many of my 16 screws and 1 drill bit(!) as possible from both of my hips because they cause me a lot of pain and discomfort.
I also have some post-surgical damage to my right hip, and removing the screws is the first step to figuring out the plan moving forward.
Suffice to say, it's been exhausting. It's not easy to live with chronic pain and ongoing health issues. There are days when all I want is to do is accomplish one thing, but my body holds me back. There are times when I have great plans for the week, but I'll tweak my hip and end up in bed covered in ice packs.
And I tell you all of this to be as candid as possible. I'm human, just like you. I know what it's like to have to work through times that are unexpected or difficult. Honestly, in the first year of my hip journey, I did not handle it well. I was angry, sad, and all of the emotions. I had to work through my own mind to move past what I couldn't control in my body.
Yet, along the way, I've learned some valuable lessons that don't just apply to my very specific health issues. We all have hard parts of life and business. The road ahead isn't always perfectly paved with rest stops along the way. There will be bulwarks you have to overcome. So, what do you do when those trying times happen?
Lean into Acceptance Instead of Negativity
My first piece of advice is to "lean into acceptance instead of negativity." Honestly, this was not my first reaction to my diagnosis, and most people tend to feel negative as well. But here's what I've learned: negativity is not going to get you anywhere. All negativity does is make the situation that much harder. While it's ok to take a breather and recognize that what you're going through isn't ideal, you can't stay in that place.
Let's look at this practically. I know that many agents are frustrated with social media marketing right now. It's easy to say, "Ugh, my posts don't have the same reach they used to." Or to say, "Why does the algorithm seem to love Instagram Reels right now? I don't want to do them." Instead, wouldn't it make your life so much easier to think, "Yes, social isn't the same as it was before. However, I accept that and am going to adapt so that I leverage opportunities moving forward."
You have to accept and come to terms with the current reality. It's the only way to make progress. Because if all you do is focus on the negative side of what's happening, you get consumed not only emotionally, but you end up in paralysis and stall your progress.
So, yes - situations aren't always ideal. But by accepting what's happening, you can come up with a plan to overcome whatever is happening. It doesn't mean you're necessarily happy about it, but what you're not doing is being consumed by negativity. Instead, you're planting your feet firmly underneath yourself and saying, "this is happening, and I can handle this." That being said, you don't have to go at it alone!
Find Strength in Support
I would not have been able to go through everything I've been through on my own, and I'm not just talking the months where I was on strict instruction not to move my legs without assistance. That was fun.
Instead, what I'm talking about is recognizing that getting help isn't a show of weakness. There is great strength in having a support system. My husband has been there for me through every sad and happy tear along the way. Our family flew across the country to help out. I'm in an official PAO support group. And don't get me started on my amazing Marketing Manager, Megan, who even before all of this happened, I'd say, "I don't know what I'd do without her."
Support is one of the best things you can do for yourself and can come in a variety of ways.
You can find support in the form of a mentor who has come before you or from peers who are going through it with you. You might need to reach out and make the connection, but I encourage you to please do! And know, that I'm always here for you as well. Send me a DM on Instagram (@IdeasForRealEstate), and I'll happily send you a word of encouragement. When we're all here for each other, we all grow.
Do What You Can, When You Can
Throughout the seasons of your life and business, your capacity changes. There will be unexpected times when you are too busy to keep up with it all. That's when you have to prioritize and "do what you can, when you can."
This is a practice that has kept me continuing to reach my goals even when I can't control the path there. For me, I don't ever know how I'm going to feel. So, when I have days that my pain is low and my energy feels more like my former self, I take advantage of it! I'll film videos on these days, record podcast episodes, and show up to the best of my ability. It's not necessarily scheduled time, but it's optimized time because I know there will be days when I can't do any of that.
And just by simply following "do what you can, when you can," you might be surprised by how much you really do accomplish.
So, let's say you want to connect with your past customers more but don't seem to have the time to do it. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social while you're in the carpool line, why not open up the note app on your phone and write a rough draft of an email you'd like to send your sphere? Then, the next free moment that you have or when you're back at the office, you can polish it up and send it out. That way, you make the most of the time you do have while still accomplishing your tasks.
Likewise, the "do what you can, when you can" philosophy might mean consciously changing your plans to suit your current circumstance. If you're incredibly busy, it's ok to scale back instead of overworking yourself into the ground. Focus on what you can in the time you can and avoid burnout by overworking yourself.
We often get so set on our plans that we don't give ourselves the flexibility to be adaptable when we need to. Instead, "do what you can, when you can."
Focus on What's Truly Important
You could wake up tomorrow and be presented with an obstacle. In fact, I can almost guarantee there will be at least something that isn't perfect about your day. If there's one lesson I've learned above all else, it's to "focus on what's truly important."
It's easy to lose perspective when you're stressed, but if you step back, you'll start to see what matters more clearly.
To be honest, my husband is quick to remind me about this one. I always want to do it all, and that mindset can do more harm than good. In fact, in preparation for this 4th surgery I had the same attitude. I've been struggling with my health after having a really bad case of Covid, and I didn't think I'd be cleared for surgery. So, I've had about a week to get my business and life ready for me to be out.
Now, my mind is going a mile a minute with all I want to do, the list is getting longer, and I'm getting stressed out. But my husband stops me and reminds me of the big picture. Having a successful surgery and recovery is the most important thing for me right now, especially since I've had surgical complications in the past. If I have to change up my podcasts or launch a project later, it's not the end of the world. What's truly important is that I get better.
Sometimes you might need some help recognizing what matters, or you might need to walk away to think about it objectively.
Life and Business Happen
Now, my health struggle wasn't planned, and I had to adapt to my situation. But not all challenges are bad or unplanned.
You might push yourself to reach a new goal or try something new, and it isn't always easy. In fact, what matters most to us often pushes us to change for the good.
If it wasn't for the journey I'm going through, I might not ever have launched Ideas for Real Estate full-time. I might not have had the opportunity to connect with agents all over the world. And we wouldn't be having this conversation today.
So, thank you for tuning in and supporting me and Ideas for Real Estate.
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